Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Prelude Part 1: Building the Terror

Post By ag Wed Jun 21, 2006 at 11:44:52 am EDT	Subject Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Prelude Part 1: Building the Terror Originally All Right. Time to get serious about the PV. Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Repost Thread	In Reply To ag Wed Jun 21, 2006 at 11:42:25 am EDT

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*Note to readers, can you identify all Twelve Sacred Items of Power? There is a thirteenth item of power that is inaccessible that is a bonus point!*

The End of Time really can take any shape. One must figure that, being at the end, all suns would be extinguished, all life long gone and the universe has expanded as far as it will go.
At any rate, for one reason or another, the End of Time appears today as a lifeless, empty broken landscape.
Off to the farthest distance on this cracked shore a bright city can be seen. This is Entropolis, the city at the end of time and space that exists on the splice mark between the end and the beginning of the Parodyverse, where all of creation looped back to the starting point like a revolving door, constantly beginning it’s rotation and ending it’s rotation at the same moment.
Far from this beautiful gleaming city of light there is a powerful citadel of darkness. While not a city, it’s ten times as big. Its color is a deep, dark crimson, reminiscent of the darkest blood.
Hiding behind a jagged outcropping of rock a glowing figure watches the deathly quiet fortress. He/she/it/they have a shimmering, indistinct, androgynous form. His/her/its flowing palette of fluorescent orange, neon green and day-glow yellow remains slightly translucent, even as his/her/its/their brightness would nearly blind any who could look upon him/her/it/them. A orange and green smiley face symbol shines out from the genderless energy being’s chest and back, in no small part due to the fact that this quickly recognizable icon was the only feature on his/her/its/their exterior that could be distinguished from the rest of his/her/its/their ever-changing pattern of swirling colors.
This is the LuminousLudicrousKineticKid! (“The Hero with a Thousand Faces”) He/she/it/they are the last of the CrazySurgarHistoricHeroes! Every single CrazySugarHistoricHero is within him/her/it/them. They are all one, bound up in this luminescent package.
“By the Maker/Gods/Essence/Stan the Man what is that? I’ve never seen it before! Maybe it’s high time I visit the neighbors?”
LLKK! slides down the rock outcropping to the large metal front door and in keeping with the nature of his/her/it’s/their multibeing; he/she/it/they simply knock on the door. “Heeelllo! Anyone home?”
A creaking and clanking sound is heard through the door as it begins to open.
He/she/it/they just drift into the dark entrance. Right away it seems vast and tall. A deep cavernous entranceway that leads to shadowy places perhaps undreamt of by man.
“This place sure looks smaller on the outside” the being that is every CrazySugarHistoricHero combined, states as he/she/it/they look around.
They reply is a force of pure quantum force as it slams him/her/it/they into a wall.
“Uggh! What? Who?” LuminousLudicrousKineticKid! asks while looking at the attackers.
They stand there, ready to kill. Prizecatcher, Spacewarped, Duplicate Death, Plantgirl, Amoral Guy, Horrible Hare, Deadshot, Speedshark, Warblk, Twisted Organ, Spaced Fandom, and Amazed Adaptoid, all ready to kill.
“You must be the local CrazySugarHistoricHero.” Prizecatcher points out.
“Our master told us to watch for you..ou..ou.” Spaced Fandom drools.
“Good to see I’m popular.” LLKK! says.
“This is the fool we were warned about? What a joke!” Amoral Guy laughs. He’s flexing his quantum energy.
“No sweat! Let’s kill it!” Plantgirl enthuses.
“Kill it? But I’ve never killed anything in my life!” Twisted Organ worries.
“There’s always a first time.” Duplicate Death is quick to answer.
Prizecatcher growls, “We wont be killing him. Just capture, for now.”
“Well then capture it is!” Horrible Hare says as he leaps into the air.
The villains attack. Speedshark and Spacewarped get there first. One with super speed and the other with teleportation.
An amazing thing happens. A brilliant green and orange flash of light erupts through the room. Then thirteen heroes in similar colors have appeared.
CrazySugarBlast-OffLad! shouts while his ancient jet-pack roars, “Come on CrazySurgarHistoricHeroes! ATTACK!” He is flanked by the CrazySugarCosmicIconoclast! On his left side and the AtomicSci-FiSecretAgent! On his right.
Below them the LuckyLustfulDementedDemigod! leads the charge with the BakaKintaroAmatouSamurai! brandishing his katanna and the InsaneCaffeineRevengeSoldier! firing his guns. Behind them the MachoMochaDemonicDetective!, the MerryHereticHarlequinMask!, the CacklingCappuccinoSupernaturalSleuth! and the TwistedTimestreamWastelandsWanderer! charge. Further back HappyBouncyElasticLad! stretches his body of Imposibilium and the QueerJumbledJungleQueen! swings on a vine that wasn’t there before. The JourneyingJinniTreasureThief! surfs on his magic carpet right behind the flying heroes.
“There’s many more where they came from bad guys so step off!” the LuminousLudicrousKineticKid! points and warns from behind them.
The two sides clash powerfully. CrazySugarBlast-OffLad! tries to hit Spacewarped but the villain disappears and reappears, kicking him in the helmeted head.
CrazySugarCosmicIconoclast! And Amoral Guy both lock their energies, each trying to beat the other.
Duplicate Death has slit into two of her alternate selves. The Ninja trained version of her is crossing swords with the BakaKintaroAmatouSamurai! while the kung fu trained version of her is trading moves against the MachoMochaDemonicDetective!
The QueerJumbledJungleQueen! barley dodges the sharp claws of Horrible Hare.
Prizecatcher and the CacklingCappuccinoSupernaturalSleuth! trade martial arts blows, each one summing up the other.
Speedshark is speeding circles around the InsaneCaffeineRevengeSoldier! whose bullets aren’t meeting their mark.
HappyBouncyElasticLad! is all stretched into a jumble with the shape shifting Warblk. They are in a knot many would find impossible to undo.
Deadshot the archer is firing arrow after arrow up at the JourneyingJinniTreasureThief! Who dodges each one with an incredible act of riding his carpet.
The LuckyLustfulDementedDemigod! is in the middle of a major mercy fight with the super strong Amazed Adaptoid. Neither seems to be gaining any ground.
Plantgirl has her mentally controlled plants all wound around the TwistedTimestreamWastelandsWanderer! As the retconned hero tries to cut through with his techno-organic arm.
The AtomicSci-FiSecretAgent! radiates with nuclear power within the powerful tornado that is Twisted Organ.
It’s a battle of not just fists but faces as the MerryHereticHarlequinMask! uses his enchanted actor’s masks and the Spaced Fandom changes from person to person with his disguise powers. Neither fool the other though.
The LuminousLudicrousKineticKid! allows himself/herself/itself/themselves a smile as he/she/it/them watches the colorful battle. LLKK! hasn’t even called on Dreamcatcher, Glitch, Jesse, Quimby, Sir William or Valentine yet, let alone so many others. So many CrazySurgarHistoricHeroes are part of him/her/it/them that it would be simplicity to match his/her/it’s/their opponents at every turn.
When a third, more ‘normal’ version of Duplicate Death wrapped the solid morphing Serious Matter around the green and orange illuminated being it was a complete surprise. Within seconds LLKK! fell to her blows to the head. Even faster all the CrazySurgarHistoricHeroes vanished.
The pliable Serious Matter is ripped off the hero and quickly forms into a cage.
Amazed Adaptoid throws LLKK! into the strangely radiating cell with force. Prizecatcher slams the door closed.
Beaten, hurt, the being who is many yet one tries to charge for the door but instead feels weaker by the minute. “S.. Serious Matter.. the cage is.. made of Serious Matter.
Looking at the tired, weak being, Prizecatcher calmly replies, “It’s rare, but nothing is too rare for the master to get.”
The red and purple masked Prizecatcher nods for the other villains to leave then sits on a chair to watch.

LuminousLudicrousKineticKid! lies on the cold hard ground. The hero’s light faded to a weaker hue. “Who.. is your master?”
“His name is the Cowled Criminal and anything is within his resources.”
“What is it your master wants? Why is this happening?”
Prizecatcher watches him with bemused interest. “His goals are his alone. No one knows and no one is foolish to question him.”
“He’ll… loose. There have always…always been heroes who can stop him. He’ll never… win.”
“They’ll loose. My master has been planning this for a long time. Now rest CrazySugarHistoricHero. This is your new home.”
“I’m not going.. to pick out ..drapes yet.” replies LuminousLudicrousKineticKid! defiantly. “I’ll get out of… here. Then I’ll ..travel to whenever I need to and get the heroes who.. can stop you.”
“No. You won’t. And if you DID manage to escape I wouldn’t advise going to anytime or place. The master’s Plaid Wall of Anti-Story devours and dissolves all it touches. See?”
The man who used to be the villain called Swingy touches thin air and a screen appears. On it we see the planet Earth, or at least “A” Earth. It’s obviously modern day Paradopolis yet the buildings, streets, vehicles and even people’s clothing are all adorned like ancient Egypt.
The ruler of the world known as Ku Ku Ka Chu watches in useless anger as his subjects are absorbed by the wall. Everything that is his brief empire falls to the plaid wall.
A being in green and white appears. He is called Soothsayer and it’s his curse to travel from Earth to Earth, watching them die.
“YOU! You are a stranger to me!” Pharaoh Ka Chu says as he notices the stranger, “DIE FOR WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO MY EMPIRE!” The full power of the undead wizard charges at Soothsayer. Ka Chu becomes a massive 30 foot wall of sand, engulfing the tragic soul.
Ka Chu’s torso and arms form from the sand. He grabs the unaffected Soothsayer by the neck and tries to strangle him but to no avail.
“Why won’t you die? DIE!” He demands while his sandy body vanishes into the Plaid Wall. Soothsayer replies, sadly, as he vanishes to the next dieing Earth, “I wish I could.”
LuminousLudicrousKineticKid! watches silently in horror. He/she/it/they finally say, “What could possibly …power something like that?”
Prizecatcher replies with horrific pride, “I’ve collected twelve objects and he used them to begin it all.”
“What objects?”
“I’ll tell you.”

Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Prelude Part 1: Building the Terror

“For me it began not too long ago. From my perspective I had a very unsuccessful career as a villain. I went by the name Swingy and I was the master of the swinging arts. That’s ALL I could do. Along with my team, Proctology, we took on spiffy and the Abandoned Legion. They beat us bad. We went to the maximum security prison called the Safe. After about a year or so the other members ere freed by the villain known as Thighmaster. I, however, was left behind.
My team had abandoned me. They were later beaten again and again by the Lair Legion, JBH and even the Junior Legion. I stayed in prison. Twenty years passed and I aged and became bitter. Then one day crimson light appeared in my cell.
It was the Cowled Criminal and he had an offer for me. He would oversee my training. He would provide the weaponry. And after my service to him was complete he’d send me through time to kill spiffy, the one I hated more then anyone else. All I needed to do was serve him loyally on a few certain tasks.
I took him up on his offer of course. He brought me here to my new home. It took awhile for the training but this place sort of sits within time.. somehow. So I had all the time in the world.
After I was ready he sent me out to recruit the others. The Spaced Fandom already was here and he recruited too. While this was going on the Cowled Criminal set up three mini-bases. One in the year 1878 AD, one in the year 2004 AD and the final one in the year 3204 AD. These would be safe houses for the Spaced Fandom to hide and observe. He told the Fandom and I that these would make good focal points for our traveling through the Earths and through time. He stated that the day would come when time travel will be very difficult unless you have an anchor of some sort.
Then the day came when he wanted me to grab the sentient blade Knifie. He wanted me to get the knife at a time when it would’ve been lonely and not missed. If I would’ve gotten it at a time when it was with a human carrier it would’ve led to a confrontation with other heroes and he could not allow that.
So off I went for the knife.
The master had a small hobby of confronting the Lair Legion of Super Heroes so that was the era where I found Knifie. It was in a museum, getting dusty in the year 3204 AD.
I stole it with ease and met my master at his safe house. In that era it was the old Harringcarp Asylum, renamed Yo's Daycare and Child Hospital. In that year it had been deserted for centuries.
Once there he explained that needed me to collect eleven more Items of Power and that he would still be retaining my services for awhile. No sweat. It was a good job.
That’s when the Lair Legion of Super Heroes attacked. After all was said and done we escaped with the knife.
We returned here, where the master put Knifie within a force field of pure retcon force. I figured the knife would say something but it remained silent.”
The weak CrazySugarHistoricHero asks, “So.. you’re telling me.. that wall of Anti-Story is powered by a simple sentient.. knife?”
“Oh no. That was only the first item. After that I was sent for more, powerful, trinkets….”

The nameless, timeless Arabian desert;
A shiny scimitar gleamed in the sun. Prizecatcher arrived in a shimmering effect.
“Areei I presume?”
“Who are you? HEY! LET GO OF ME!” The sentient Scimitar called out as it started to glow pinkish.

***

The planet Dawg, in the Pee-nuutz system, where two cultures share the planet. One is highly sophisticated while the others are cave dwelling. All of them are canine humanoids.
The Ruuff-ruuff are the cave dwellers and recently they have gained a new god to worship.
The 8' high glowing object is the brightest thing on the planet. Even the large futuristic cities of the Aaarf-arrf, the advanced cousins to the primitive Ruuff-ruuff, dwarf in comparison.
The object has only been here a short time. It was last seen on Earth’s moon in the middle of a battle between several forces to obtain it. Then it vanished only to appear here to the delight of a very disheartened race.
Prizecatcher appeared during one of their worship ceremonies.
“Ah, the Starseed. Just where the master said it would be.”
Prizecatcher pulled out a small device, pressed a button and shot out a spring that circled the Starseed. He then activated a button on his costume and he and the giant energy crystal both vanished.
The sounds of the screaming, moaning and howling Ruuff-ruuff could be heard for months.

***

Berlin, Germany, 1935 AD.
Night.
Herr Wechsler looked over the plans for the new concentration camp with pride. His furthur would be proud.
Hands gripped around the Booke of Law, that ancient artifact used by Wechsler, the current cosmic officeholder and it’s Keeper.
“Vas?” Wechsler wondered but it’s too late. The sacred tome was gone.

***

The mighty throne room, in the high palace of Ausgard, present day.
The king of the gods known as Oldman has been absent on a walkabout. His son and heir, Donar, sat on the throne making judgments for the people of Ausgard in his father’s place.
“Oh mighty Donar, I am a simple farmer. This man has not only cheated me in our trade, he has doomed me this coming winter. What shall I do?’
“Great Donar, I have not doomed him. I have simply done what I must to insure…”
Donar sat in his relaxed, bored posture with a simple thought, “If I was in Middlegard right now I’d be enjoying reruns of Buffy. Mayhap this is a punishment for my prior errant behavior. I cannot think of a crueler punishment then to hear these prattle on mindlessly.”
Maybe it was the boredom that dulled his senses; maybe it was the distraction the Ausgardian peasants gave him, either way Donar was unaware of the tiny microchip that hit his enchanted baseball bat with a nail in it.
The unseen figure in the shadows let down his extendible pee shooter. If you were to look at Prizecatcher you’d see his surroundings instead of him. The camouflage belt he wears makes sure of that.
He activated a button on his lapel and he was gone, as was M’jalcom TM.

***

The Wilton Estate, circa 1966.

Sir Mumphrey Wilton has been alive for over a century yet he didn’t look nearly that old.
He thought he had seen it all, experienced it all. From zombies to aliens, there were very few things he hadn’t seen.
Today, however, he pondered a coming event that will most definitely be new for him.
He closed the safe deposit box and walked into the hall and down to the lower level of the hose.
She greeted him as he entered the room.
Lady Marjorie Canterbury Wilton says to her husband, “Are you sure it’s wise to lock away the Chronometer of Infinity?”
Sir Mumphrey Wilton replies, “Yes m’dear. My adventures are finally at an end. It’s time to be a respectable husband and gentleman of the crown.”
“And don’t forget father.”
“I could never forget the most illustrious profession I now hold. Although I cannot imagine myself as a father, it’ll be my greatest adventure yet. What?”
The new parents-to-be continued their conversation for a half hour before leaving for town.
After they were long gone it was simplicity itself for Prizecatcher to use his Tumbler-Untumbler to open the safe, then took out a small silver ball called the Pocket Time and placed it in the safe. After it opened up, filling the safe with a pocket of sub-time, which fooled the temporal wards Mumphrey left to prevent the watch being stolen, he retrieved the Chronometer of Infinity and exited the house and year.

***

The planet Makluos, long ago in the past; where the scaly, dragonic scientists are busy around a long wooden stick.
The explosion out in the beautiful court yard rocked the lab building.
Prizecatcher knew he only had five minutes. While his belt camouflaged his body and his costume masked his scent, these toys wouldn’t be able to fool the Makluan scientists for long.
He grabbed the Psycho-Stave and disappeared from the dragon’s lair.

***

Not too many years later, the same planet’s sky is blotted out as a giant space ship dwarfs it.
The ship belongs to Galactivac, the Living Death That Sucks and he is here to feast.
The inside of Galactivac’s World Ship is immense. Prizecatcher is like a gnat within a shopping mall.
“Just concentrate on the prize! Don’t pay anything else any mind.” He thought to himself as he averted his eyes from all the amazing technology and insane Kirby/Byrne/Perez architecture.
He glanced out a large window to see the planet Makluos burn and bubble with magma. A world was dieing and he’s in the home of it’s destroyer.
Without another thought, he continued on his path.
Soon he finds it. The Galactic Nobbler, the Ultimate Humidifier or as it’s often called, the Omniversal Facilitator.
He grabbed it and vanished.

***

Quite a different setting. The illustrious mansion of the League of Regulars, not too many years ago. The famous International Incident was just the day before.
Prizecatcher walked through the mansion foyer in stealth mode while the team took no notice.
“No no no! You’ve got it all wrong RR!” Starseed argued, “Say what you will about Sersi but she just not THAT kind of lady! For that you’d need Lisa.”
Rocket Raccoon gave a smirk and simply replied, “You say that now but one day she’ll give in to the love machine that is me! One day I’ll become her main love squeeze!”
If Starseed had eyes he’d roll them. “Will you EVER grow up?”
“Hey this team needs me! Otherwise with guys like you, Jarvis and Finny around it would collapse in its own boredom.”
Prizecatcher stepped by them and continued on his way. He smirked at the irony of it all. Just hours before he had obtained the Starseed in one of its latter forms, yet here in this era he’s still partially human.
He glanced at the mysterious Dark Knight as the hero lurked in the hall way. He wasn’t sure if the famous DK could detect him so he paused against a wall. The hero seemed far enough away to notice.
Then DK turned around.
CRASH!
He turned back just as quick and headed for the kitchen. Prizecatcher felt great relief as he heard what caused the timely distraction.
“spiffy! Watch the fern! You just knocked over that stack of dishes!” bellows Fin Fang Foom.
“Sorry! I don’t know what happened!” spiffy lamely replied as he picked up the dishes.
Banjooooo then could be heard saying, “Yeah, yeah. It’s Chyrel’s new cat suit. Horny teen.”
“I was not looking at Chyrel!”
“Who’s looking at Chyrel?” Visionary could be heard, obviously just getting his head out of a copy of Avengers.
“spiffy was.” Banjoooo explained.
“I WASN’T!”
“It’s ok boys.” Chyrel tried to calm things down.
Prizecatcher hurries towards the lab, passing the leader’s office. Inside he spies Jarvis doing paperwork. Anybody could see he’s not concentrating on it, but instead is concentrating on his girlfriend, Lisa.
She’s on newbie Donar’s lap.
“So big guy, what ELSE can Ausgardians do that normal guys cant?”
Prizecatcher turned away but almost bumped into Space Ghost.
The drunken pants less has-been TV talk show host just looks at him. Many different ideas occur to Prizecatcher. Ways to take out Space Ghost before he lets the others know he’s there. Obviously the foul breathed would be hero can see him in stealth mode while others cannot.
“You..seen my BURRRRP! Pants?”
Prizecatcher just waved off the stink, and then said, “In your closet?”
“Thanks.” Space Ghost replied as he shuffles off to his home.
Prizecatcher hurried the rest of the way to the lab without incident.
Once in the lab he immanently heard the voices.
“Now be careful with it Enty. They wouldn’t want you to tweak it.” Zebulon, Enty's elf lab assistant warned.
“What do you mean? I get enough crap from HALLIE. Don’t tell me you’re starting on me too?” the tech-armored NTU-150 (affectingly called Enty) quipped back.
Prizecatcher knew he had to act fast. The sentient computer program called HALLIE was at the Bunker during this era but she could pop in at any moment. The other two were busy arguing.
He pulled out a look a like of the Movie Gun, then snuck, still in stealth mode, to Enty’s side.
“He’s fiddling with the remaining hand from the wreaked Robot Arm Zeke.” Prizecatcher thought, “It’s big. This Program Rewriter should do the trick.”
He pulls out a computer chip, places it inside the open machinery of the large hand. Sparks flew.
“SEE! You broke it!”
“It already was broke!”
“What’s it doing?”
The hand rights itself, and then blasts out through the roof (and the floors above).
“Why did you put jets on the hand?”
“How else was it going to fly?”
Prizecatcher swaps the decoy Movie Gun for the original. The Program Rewriter chip is designed to blend in with other machines so that it can’t be discovered. No one will know.
He pressed his device and was gone.

***

1877 AD, Lair Island, the mansion HQ of the League of Improbable Gentlemen. It somehow looked different. Newer then Prizecatcher’s last visit.

Justin Tyme pointed the Plot Accelerator at Virgil Salvage and simply said, “Virgil Salvage, go away and don’t look for the Plot Accelerator again.”
CRASH!
The strange looking Cheshire Cat broke free from its glass case, grabbed Salvage and took him through a portal to parts unknown.
Justin, in shock, dropped the Plot Accelerator and Sir Mumphrey Wilton snatched it.
“What happened? That big purple cat! Why did it do that?” Justin said in bewilderment.
“Salvage explained it to you. The device can make any strange plot twist occur. That’s one of the most unexpected things that could happen so it DID happen.” Hastings Vernal said.
“I bagged that annoying creature myself.” Colonel Blanchford Bertram stated with disappointment, “During the Wonderland expedition. Now I suppose I’ll have to return there and do it again.”
“Leave Wonderland’s secrets to Wonderland. I for one have had enough of Salvage and his infernal campaigns.” The young Hagatha Darkness replied.
“Yes! Good riddance!” Knifie agreed from Bertram’s belt.
“We have not seen the last of Salvage, but this case in indeed concluded.” Hastings added.
“What now Justin? Are you going to finally return home?” Phineas Quimby asked their friend.
“Well. I suppose so!” His timer started to buzz like mad. “There it is again! It’s acting up! I think the homing device you added on is acting up Professor Quimby. It feels like it’s pulling me away!”
“It wouldn’t do that Justin. There must be something else acting on it.”
“Something else? What do…”
Justin vanished.
“By jove! The chap just popped out right away!” Mumph exclaimed while handing the Plot Accelerator to the nearest person which to him was Dr. Hakenfakir. He was startled even more so when he discovered his pocket watch couldn’t go back to the events around Justin’s disappearance.
“Sheeoot! Where’d th’ fella go?” US Secret Service Agent Tom Stevens wondered aloud.
Dr. Hakenfakir, who was standing in-between Blanchford and Quimby the whole time, replied “Perhaps it was a mystical abduction?”
“It was definitely science that took him. I’ve sensed no magical intrusion.” Hagatha confirmed.
The fluorescently attired Professor Quimby explained, “No, no, you all have the wrong assumptions. I’ve been dabbling in time travel. His device did indeed pull him elsewhere.”
Blanchford took charge, “Well then that concludes the case of the immortal man and the device from the stars. I suggest..”
“The case of the immortal man and the device from the stars? Surly Colonel you could come up with a better name for this evening’s intrusions then that?” Hagatha complained.
“You think THAT’S something? You should try reading his diaries sometime.” Knifie quips.
“At any rate best we put away that infernal device, what? Hakenfakir, old bean, where did you put it?” Mumph wondered.
“I? I never had it.” The Indian doctor protested, “I’ve been standing here the whole time.”
“That’s true! He’s been right here next to me.” Quimby confirmed.
“But.. I just handed it to..?”
Hastings Vernal
Knowingly intruded, “The whereabouts of the fabled Plot Accelerator will have to wait for another day. Therein lies another adventure.”

As another Dr. Hakenfakir leaves for the front door, Jakes the closet hunchback and butler stops him, “Sir, is the meeting over already?”
“Yes, yes Jakes. I’m going out. Good day.”
“Good day sir.”
Outside Dr. Hakenfakir pulls out a small triangle device from his waistcoat pocket, waves it in front of him and his appearance drastically changes.
“Spaced Fandom be damned. He’s not the only one who can disguise himself! Two more objects of power and I’ll be finished.” Prizecatcher exclaimed just before vanishing through time with the Plot Accelerator.

***

Earth RGA, last we saw all that was left was the Infinity Pencil floating in the void.
Prizecatcher was aware of this when he was sent to the void that was Earth RGA. He was NOT prepared, however, to arrive in the mountain home of Wil Magnuson, the Guardian of this universe. Everything is exactly as it was before the distruction.
“What? This cant be right?” He exclaimed as a clear bubble of pure magical energy covers him.
Metala, Wil’s robotic helper, walked over to him, "I'm sorry but I can't let you go an further then this. This bubble will keep you immobile until my creator decides what to do with you."

Prizecatcher tried every weapon in his arsenal but they didn’t work.
"You could give up now. That bubble your in is impervious to anything you could throw at it." Wil Magnuson said as he walked over to them.
Prizecatcher glared at him through the bubble like a tiger would look through the bars of it’s cage, “You’re supposed to be dead.”
"Maybe I got better. How would you know, your from another dimension?" Wil defiantly shot back.
“No. You misunderstand. My master wiped out this universe. Everything died. We watched it die. How can it still be here?”
"Metala, I think that bubble is cutting the oxygen to his brain because he's not making any sense." Wil said.
"No, the bubble is letting in enough air." Metala responded.
"I was being sarcastic."
"Oh."
"Now, Mr..." Wil said, pausing for answer.
"Prizecatcher." He said, spitefully. He was still trying to move.
"Well, Mr. Prizecatcher. If this universe had gone & got it's self blown up…”
“I never said blown up. Actually the Anti-Story Wave eats everything in it’s path.”
“Whatever. I'd think I would have known about it. It's my job to know about those sort of things and from the looks of it, it's seems ok to me. What about you, hun ?"
If robot's could blush, Metala would have been. "It looks ok to me, Wil." she said, shyfully.
"Ok. That's two to one and we’re locals, so we should know. Are you going to leave or are we going to have to get rough ?"
“I’ve come for the Infinity Pencil. Give it to me now or I’ll return with force.”
"Uh, no." Wil said, then kicked the bubble containing Prizecatcher back into the gateway and then he disappeared.
Prizecatcher returned to the Cowled Criminal’s dark citadel.

The field of pure retcon force was almost full. Within it floated Knifie, Areei, the Starseed, the Plot Accelerator, M’jalcom ™, the Movie Gun, the Booke of Law, the Chronometer of Infinity, the Psycho-Stave and the Omniversal Facilitator.
Prizecatcher ignores Areei’s complaints and taunts as he listened to his master.
“How this Earth could be back when all the others cannot remains a mystery. As each universe falls my power grows stronger, yet a small fraction of that power left when Earth RGA returned. This is a mystery for another day. There just isn’t time to concern ourselves with this. As for the Pencil, I have tried to send you further into the past and future of that world and Magnuson’s field blocks each attempt. I will destroy his universe around him when the time is right. For now we’ll pass on this artifact. Go instead and retrieve the Scepter I’ve spoken about. That lacks the incredible power of the Pencil, but it will be sufficient to our needs.”

Within moments Prizecatcher was in the torch lit chambers of the Temple of the Pharaoh KutKut, camouflaged so that the warriors didn’t notice him.
There, upon the alter, was the Scepter of KutKut. The jewel on the top was glowing beyond measure.
He reached for it only to have something in black fly at top speed, and upon impact smashed him into a wall.
“What? Who the ^^&*%?” he asked as he lost his chameleon effect.
An Egyptsen warrior stood defiant as he glared at him. Prizecatcher felt the malice coming from his attacker.
“I am Pharaoh KutKut’s First Protector!” the attacker said in ancient Egyptsen, “My name is Teth AdamAnt. Remember it well for it’s the last name you ever hear!”
“Do NOT kill the intruder my servant!” A voice dripping with evil commanded, “I want to torture him. He must be a servant of that virtuous fool, the wizard Gahh. You can break him however.”
Teth AdamAnt bows to the newcomer while he said, “Yes my noble Pharaoh. By your command!” He then flew at incredible speed towards Prizecatcher.
The servant of the Cowled Criminal tossed a small circler disc. It very rapidly formed into a large one that Teth AdamAnt flew into and disappeared.
“What have you done with my servant?” the Pharaoh KutKut protested.
Prizecatcher didn’t reply. Teth reappeared from nowhere and crashed through a wall.
Before the evil warrior returned to the scene Prizecatcher had reached the Scepter of KutKut and had vanished.

***

The World Trade Fair, New York, 1939;

Prizecatcher watched from the shadows. “Whats it doing here?”
There, in front of him, is a stack of prizes waiting to be won by anyone who can hit the bell to the top of the ladder. On the very top sits Pooty, the Hooded Hood’s teddy bear and last item of power on Prizecatcher’s list.
Other dark eyes watched Prizecatcher from the rafters, wondering what this stranger will do.
“Well it cant be that simple but I’ll try.” Prizecatcher thinks, then carefully strides over and snatched up Pooty. A rather handsome humpty dumpty moved up to take it’s place.
The master villain thought nothing of this and activated his device. He vanished without a glance from anyone except the large figure in the rafters.
The Phantom of the Fair, later to be known as Wangmundo, continues to watch as seventeen year old Miss Priscilla Prudhoe stops to look at the humpty dumpty.
“CUTE!” She says as she pauses for just a moment to admire it and wish someone would win it for her.
The Phantom of the Fair shrugged this whole thing off and continued to roam.

“I placed the last item of power in the Recon field and my master used the combined power to call the Plaid Wall of Anti-Story from who knows were. It then entered the positive universes, destroying everything it it’s wake. It began to destroy universe after universe. Best part, some smuck thinks it’s his fault.
And now it’s traveling everywhere and when. All will die except those of us protected.”
“What makes you so sure you’re safe?” The LuminousLudicrousKineticKid! asked.
“The master promised and he never breaks his word.”

Sorry folks but this Prelude was just too big for one part. Next up we watch several heroes with out a home face their final threat and kick off a major saga.
Next Time, the Lost, Retconed Lair Legion of Super Heroes face their fate and Troia 215 gets some not so nice visitors.

It’s the End of the World Footnotes as we know it and I feel fine:

CRAZYSURGARFREAKNOTES:
To paraphrase Kurt Boxleitner:

The LuminousLudicrousKineticKid! (“The Hero with a Thousand Faces”) of the Janus Junctures (Utopia University) and his/her/its/their Tricksters’ Talismans is all of his/her/its predecessors, all of the tricksters and CrazySurgarHistoricHeroes! ever to wear the orange and green smiley face, all bound up into one body, one form, one mind, one soul. The genderless being, composed of pure Impossibilityium, passing on his wisdom to the students at Utopia University, the university at the end of the universe, which Doctor Xeno Phobia had founded so that the residents of all times and places and possible realities in existence could come together.
Basically, LLKK! is/are the most archetypically Chaotic aspects of each CrazySugarHistoricHero! all collected up and personified in this single, albeit collective, entity. He/she/it/they can send out younger aspects or as it were, earlier CrazySurgarHistoricHeroes to fight for him/her/it/them.

CrazySurgarHistoricHeroes on Parade: A list of the CrazySurgarHistoricHeroes in this story and the era they were active in history:

CrazySugarBlast-OffLad! Late 1930’s, 1940’s. WWII era. Member of the Lair Society of Justice. We’ll see him again.
CrazySugarCosmicIconoclast! 1960’s We’ll see him again.
AtomicSci-FiSecretAgent! 1950’s
LuckyLustfulDementedDemigod! 1225 BC, Ancient Greece
BakaKintaroAmatouSamurai! 1475 AD, Feudal Japan
InsaneCaffeineRevengeSoldier! 1980’s
MachoMochaDemonicDetective! 1970’s
MerryHereticHarlequinMask! 1575 AD, Renaissance Italy
CacklingCappuccinoSupernaturalSleuth! 1910’s, WWI
TwistedTimestreamWastelandsWanderer! 1990’s
HappyBouncyElasticLad! 3200’s, Member of the Lair Legion of Super Heroes. We’ll see him again.
QueerJumbledJungleQueen! 1900’s
JourneyingJinniTreasureThief! 775 AD, early Arabia

Of all these shown in this part of the story, only The LuminousLudicrousKineticKid!, CrazySugarBlast-OffLad! and HappyBouncyElasticLad! actually stared in other stories before. The rest have only been seen in lists. This is their first action roll to date.

“Dreamcatcher, Glitch, Jesse, Quimby, Sir William or Valentine”:
These are; Dreamcatcher Kokopelli Foxglove (CrazySugarFreakBoy!), GlitchedGadgetRiotgrrlRobot!, Jezebel “Jesse” O’Hare (LocoQuick-DrawSarsaparillaOutlaw!), Phineas Quimby (EccentricEtherInvestigatorInventor!), Sir William of Wonkham (BabblingBardJesterJouster!) and Wesley Valentine (JollyJauntySweetmeatSwashbuckler!)
All but Jesse have appeared in stories before. All will be seen in the Crisis, along with other CrazySurgarHistoricHeroes.

Serious Matter is the opposite of the CrazySugarHistoricHero used Impossibilitium. It does not come in any sort of wide variety of forms so it’s very hard to find the stuff. Hatman has it in his brain.

DEAD EARTH NOTE THE FIRST (OF MANY):

The Earth seen getting destroyed is Earth Ka Chu. On this world the ancient Egyptsen wizard was freed, just like on Parodyverse Prime, during the museum incident that exiled the young speedster Speedstreak. But on this Earth Ka Chu killed all the heroes except a few whom he exiled to a pocket dimension. They lived in that hellish place for decades and their descendants still live there. Our Speedstreak lived with them and married one of their descendants. Here we see the final fate of their home world.

COWLED CRIMINAL’S CRAZIES NOTES:

Prizecatcher recruited the JBV (Duplicate Death, Amoral Guy, Horrible Hare, Speedshark and Warblk) in Amazing Tales #36

The Spaced Fandom recruited the Amazed Adaptoid in Amazing Tales #28 and Twisted Organ was recruited in some issue somewhere but I cant find it.
Plantgirl joined up sometime too but I don’t remember when.
Spacewarped was recruited Tyme Travels #13

The Cowled Criminal and Prizecatcher fought the Lair Legion of Super Heroes and captured Knifie in Lair Legion of Super Heroes #32

WHERE DOES HE GET THOSE WONDERFUL TOYS NOTE #1:
Here’s a listing of Prizecatcher’s arsenal of gadgets that we’ve seen so far.
Time-Buttons: More improved version of Justin Tyme’s Chrono Displacement device.
Camo-belt: Belt projects camouflage aura around wearer. He or she would appear like the background environment.
Tumbler-Untumbler: unlocks any lock or safe.
Momentum Disc: Small circle, which forms into a large one that captures and redirects objects.
Fly paper: Funny looking paper that sticks to any being or object and traps it for later.
The Program Rewriter chip: Micro chip that merges with electronic equipment and alters it to a fault.
Pocket Time: A small silver ball that, after opening up, fills a space with a pocket of sub-time. It confuses time tracking and detecting instruments.
Box-n-Chain: Two small boxes with circuitry connected by a small chain. Stuns phased beings. Little boxes contain a plastic wrap of some sort that instantly forms around an object, cutting off airflow.

ISN’T SHE IN THE JBH NOTE:
Yes, Areei the sentient Scimitar is the weapon of choice of Desert Rose, JBH member.

STARSEED NOTES:
The Starseed, a breakdown history by IW!
1. As the Resolution War approaches, the Gah! force surges back after long quiescence.
2. Dirth Vortex and the followers of the Dark Gah! arise from their hibernation.
3. Manuel discovers the lat manifestation of the lat cycle of the Gah - a Starseed - in a European cave.
4. Dirth Vortex and co promptly try to kill him.
5. Manuel becomes the Gah!-powered superhero Starseed.
6. He "dies" in hi own stories at least twice, each time coming back more powerful.
7. Space Ghost become an acolyte of the Gah!, but never takes it too seriously. Nats become a temporary acolyte in one of his stories later.
8. Starseed and Dirth Vortex clash in the future. The lovely Zemo triplets are impregnated.
9. Starseed and Vortex are both hurled back to the present, Starseed to team with Avatar against the Nebulus, Vortex to carry out his plots in the Dreary Dimension.
10. In fighting the Nebulus Starseed ascends to the highest level of mortal Gah! mastery. that’s the Obi-Wan thing you're thinking of.
11. After the Nebulus are defeated, Starseed ascends to the penultimate level. He leave his human form behind and becomes a giant energy crystal - a starseed - (about 8' high), which is like a crysalid for him changing inside it.
12. The Starseed is chased by the Parody Master, Dirth Vortex, and a cast of thousands. Dirth Vortex is destroyed (unless someone brings him back).
13. The Starseed vanishes again, no-one knows where. (WHERE WE ARE NOW.)
14. The Starseed will one day hatch, and on that day the Resolution War begins!

WASN’T HE IN A MUMPH STORY NOTE:
Yes, Herr Wechsler, the Keeper of the Book of Law in the Golden Age, was in the Sir Mumphrey Wilton WWII series.

CALL SIMONSON NOTE:
Donar is currently ruling Ausgard until his All Pappy, Oldman, comes back. If Donar returns to Middlegard (Earth) then the Oldman power goes to his evil sibling, Hoki. This obviously is before the newest Donar/Dancer story.

AW, CUTE ADVENTURE COUPLE NOTE:
Marjorie Canterbury and Sir Mumphrey Wilton got engaged in the previously mentioned Mumphrey WW II series. In ’66 he put up the pocket watch until the modern heroic era. That means they must’ve gone without children for roughly twenty years. I smell stories.

DEAD MAKLUOS NOTE:
The home planet of Fin Fang Foom has wound up in many stories even though it was destroyed in pre-history. The Psycho-Stave was found by the Makluans but when they exiled the then evil Finny and the Devil Doctor, the Stave found its way with them to Earth. Makluos was later destroyed by Galactivac.

HAVE WE SEEN THIS BEFORE NOTE:
The Plot Accelerator scene was taken from Tyme Travels #14, but with more stuff! Also, Justin’s disappearance is explained in that story.

I’D LIKE A PENCIL WITH THAT RANCHBURGER PLEASE NOTE:
Earth RGA, otherwise known as Earth Ranchburger. This is the Earth where the Librarian came from (before the retcon that made it so that he was always from Parodyverse Main). This Earth has many defenders including their most famous, the Righteous Guild of America. This is also the Earth that was recently destroyed by the wave of Anti-Story sweeping through the Multiverse. All that was left was the Infinity Pencil floating in the void.
Earth Ranchburger/Earth RGA did indeed die in this story by L!.

Yet this story takes place after that. How can it be back? Wait and see.
A big thank you to L! for adding his spin to Wil and Metala and that scene.

NOT THE EGYPT I’VE HEARD ABOUT NOTE:
Please remember, ancient Egypt covered a lot of years. There are two different Egyptsen eras of note in the Parodyverse history. One that is shown here and one decades or more later where Pigeon Warrior, Cobra, the PyramidProdigyAcolyteArchitect! and others formed the World Guardians. We’ll be visiting that era later in the Crisis.

The Scepter of KutKut was later unearthed and destroyed in Tricks of the Trade #7

The NON-Egyptsen Wizard GAHH would say “GAHH” and gain the powers of Gail, Atlas, Athena, Hermes. In the year 1941 AD a young boy named Billy Brunsen found this Wizard (by then very old) and was given the powers, becoming the Golden Age Captain Marbles. Teth AdamAnt would be a recurring foe. The Golden Age Captain Marbles will be seen in the Crisis and later on in the pages of JBH.

WHERE HAS MY DEAR POOTY GONE NOTE:
Hmm. Wonder what all that business with Priscilla Prudhoe was about? Wait and see.

WHERE DOES HE GET THOSE WONDERFUL TOYS NOTE #2:
Did everyone guess the Twelve Sacred Items of Power? They were as follows;
Knifie, Areei, the Starseed, the Plot Accelerator, M’jalcom ™, the Movie Gun, the Booke of Law, the Chronometer of Infinity, the Psycho-Stave, the Omniversal Facilitator, the Scepter of KutKut and Pooty.
The bonus point is for the inaccessible Infinity Pencil.

a.g.
Amazing Guy

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* test... - ag - Thu Jun 29, 2006 at 09:20:03 pm EDT